When someone we love dies, their belongings take on a weight that is both emotional and physical. They become reminders of the person, the life they lived, and the memories we shared. I know this firsthand. Within ten days, both my parents had died. Their apartment, filled with a lifetime of belongings, became mine to sort through. Each object told a story, each decision weighed heavily on me.
Decluttering after a loss is deeply personal and can be overwhelming. It’s not just about clearing a space; it’s about making peace with the past and finding ways to honour your loved one while creating room to heal. If you find yourself in this position, here are some insights that might help:
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
There’s no right way to grieve, and there’s no right way to sort through a loved one’s belongings. Some days, you may feel ready; other days, even a small task might feel too much. Be patient with yourself and allow the emotions to surface as they come.
2. Start Small
Tackling everything at once can be exhausting. Begin with a single drawer, a small box, or one shelf. Set manageable goals and work at your own pace.
3. Keep What Holds Meaning
Not everything needs to stay, but a few cherished items can bring comfort. A handwritten note, a favourite book, or a well-worn piece of clothing can serve as a gentle reminder of your loved one.
4. Letting Go with Purpose
Donating, gifting, or repurposing items can be a way to celebrate your loved one’s legacy. If they had a favourite charity, consider donating in their name. Passing items along to family or friends who will treasure them can also bring comfort.
5. Accept Help When Needed
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s family, friends, or professional support, having someone by your side can ease the burden and help provide perspective.
6. Learning to Live Around the Loss
Letting go of possessions doesn’t mean letting go of love or memories. Your loved one’s presence lives on in the impact they had on your life. Sorting through their belongings is not about moving on but about making space, physically and emotionally, to carry their memory in a way that allows you to keep living.
Kindred Sorting 