What Swedish Death Clearing Taught Me

When I first came across Margareta Magnusson’s book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death
Cleaning, I was struck by its quiet wisdom. The Swedish term for it is döstädning, a gentle
process of sorting through a lifetime’s possessions with intention, so loved ones aren’t left
overwhelmed later. But Magnusson’s approach isn’t bleak or clinical; it’s filled with grace,
humour, and deep compassion. Her philosophy isn’t just about preparing for the end, it’s
about choosing to live with less clutter, more clarity, and greater care for the people around us.

This idea came alive for me recently when I was invited to help a friend and her family with
their home. She lives with her husband, their three young children, and her parents, all
under one roof. Over the years, the house has filled with generations of belongings, each
carrying its own story, its own attachment. The family found themselves at a crossroads:
how to make better use of the space for the growing needs of the children while still
honouring the past and respecting her parents’ history. It’s a familiar tension, how do we
share space across generations without letting it become emotionally or physically
overwhelming?

During one of our conversations, my friend’s mother shared that many of the belongings in
the house weren’t just hers, they had belonged to her own mother. When she inherited
them, she held onto these items out of love and duty, unsure of what could be let go. Then,
when the family decided to move in together, three generations under one roof, all their
things came too. Her daughter’s belongings, her son-in-law’s, the children’s toys and
clothes… it all added up.

This experience reminded me of why I created Kindred Sorting, to support people as they
face these very moments. Whether it’s clearing a home after loss or reimagining space for a
new chapter, my aim is always to offer help that is sensitive, sustainable, and grounded in
empathy.

Then today I helped my uncle with his attic space. He is now widowed and living alone. He
is conscious about leaving these items for his family to clear so asked me to help him. I was
surprised at his ability to say “If its been here for this long then lets just pass it on”. Helping
him see we could send so much to charity was helpful and he was really willing to do this.
We also found some older items that we could share the story it its history and still manage
to move it along. I understand you have to meet people where they are at and he was ready
to do this, carve back space and think about the future for others.

What I learned through both reading Margareta Magnusson’s book and supporting my
friend’s family and uncle is that decluttering isn’t just a task, it’s a tender process. It’s
about making room for life to flow more easily, while still holding space for memory and
meaning.

Here are a few gentle, practical takeaways that you might find helpful:

1. Start Small and Start Somewhere
It can be tempting to tackle a whole room in one go, but often that leads to overwhelm. Instead, begin with a single drawer, shelf, or box. Success builds confidence.

2. Invite Stories Before You Let Go
Objects often hold memories, and taking a moment to talk about them can make parting with them feel more intentional. Ask: “What does this remind you of?” or “Do you think someone else might enjoy this now?”

3. Label What Matters
If something truly needs to be kept, consider adding a note explaining its significance. This can be a gift to the next generation, helping them understand why it mattered to you. I have been writing on the back of all my hanging art so my kids can understand why I picked it and then decide if they like it or it holds enough meaning for them to keep it.

4. Don’t Wait for a Crisis
As Magnusson says, it’s kinder to sort through things before someone else has to do it under pressure or grief. Making decisions slowly, with clarity and calm, is a loving act.

5. You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Asking for help. Whether from a family member, a friend, or a service like mine it can make all the difference. Having someone there who brings fresh eyes, emotional distance, and a steady hand can gently move the process forward.

The Heart Behind Kindred Sorting
At Kindred Sorting, I help people navigate these very moments of transition—with compassion, curiosity, and care. Whether it’s sorting through inherited belongings, making space for changing family needs, or just finding peace in a cluttered home, I believe in approaching every task gently and mindfully.

This isn’t just about “getting rid of stuff”, it’s about making space for life, connection, and ease. It’s about finding a balance between honouring the past and embracing the present.